This time I'll be bulletproof...

I love it when Facebook memories remind me of hope. I was reminded that in 2020, everything we knew had come to a complete standstill. What began as an awakening of what we truly had suddenly shifted into a season of deep grief. 

I scrolled further and found my post from April 2, 2014. I wrote: First day back in the gym in over a month!!!! I'm rehabilitating my body back to strength, endurance & stability after being diagnosed with fibromyalgia. The pain was unbearable, not being able to move was devastating, and not being able to dance was heartbreaking. But I'm making a comeback stronger than ever!!!

My faith was tested, and God's provision is consistently proven that He will never leave or forsake me! 10 minutes on the elliptical today felt like I ran a half marathon both physically and emotionally. I almost broke down and cried in victory, praise & thanksgiving...you don't even know the level of humility this has brought me to. I'm truly learning what it means to #getinneractive Ephesians 3 (the foundational scripture) says I ask Him to strengthen you with a glorious #innerstrength (so that you can face any trial) God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. Glory to God!! (Ephesians 3:20, 21 MSG) I pray my life will be a witness to the depth of His ability!

Fast forward to the season, none of us could find an explanation, and I found this post. (keep reading here) 

May 19, 2020: Today, I stepped way out of my comfort zone and went live on IG Live for a full hour of barre.

If you’re wondering why that’s out of my comfort zone, let me be brutally honest.

A ) it’s not a format that I’m 100% sure I’m *doing right*
B ) CUZ ALL THINGS CONSIDERED; I played the “you don’t look the part” joker’s wild card, and then I dealt myself a hand that read the old lies of “you aren’t who you used to be; your body isn’t as fit as it use to be and nobody wants a barre class with a prayer included - trust me someone told me that to my face” ...

But after I watched the playback and almost deleted it, I reminded myself of the Truths I spoke to my class about today from Philippians 4. And I was reminded of how God rescued and redeemed my body back in 2014. 

This reality check of the way we speak to ourselves *about* ourselves becomes what others see.
We could wear a mask that portrays a positive outlook and always “ON” with all the right words and phrases that are coffee mug and T-shirt worthy, but for the people who are in tune with authenticity as a reality vs a hashtag they can see right through that mess.

I refuse to live that lie.

ALL I WANT IN THIS LIFE IS FREEDOM IN MY SKIN, THE PEACE OF GOD IN MY HEART AND MIND AND HOPE FOR MY FUTURE.

If my body isn’t six-pack strong, long and lean, perfect fit-for-a-40-something enough for you; well then I’m probably not your trainer. (What i really wanna say to you is ...)

W H O. G I V E S. A. C A R E.
(I almost cussed)

Y’all. This life is too short to count calories, compare my body size/shape to someone else’s and worry if Suzie-sweats-a-lot likes my class.

I will have moments when thoughts cross my mind that don’t line up with the Word of God.

I will have moments when I hate everything in my closet.

I will have moments when me and Jesus sit on the floor of my closet and I confess and He promises to love me longer than that romper stays on trend.

So in the name of Jesus; by the standards of all the animal prints that came and went, and the power of all Target, Athleta and Lululemon leggings Lycra; I declare y’all; ALL YALL, ARE FREE TO LOVE YOUR BODY AND THE BEAUTIFUL SKIN YOU ARE IN!

Ok I’m done... #imovertryintopleasepeople #peacecomesineverysize #Jesuslovesyouwhatevershapeyourein
ADJUST YOUR FOCUS, your setback is a set up for a MAJOR COMEBACK!!!!!